Archive for April, 2010

Tell me a story

Friday, April 30th, 2010

Today as I was trying to get Emerson to take a bath (which is a whole song and dance) she kept saying, “Tell me a story”.

She’s been doing this lately – asking me to tell her about things in my life before she was born. She is going through a stage that is big on repetition. So it was more like “Tell me a story, tell me a story, tell me a story”. Honestly it’s a lot of pressure sometimes to think of something to say. She doesn’t like it when I haul out the same old tidbit. So I finally said, “If you’ll get in the bathtub I’ll try and think of a story to tell you”.

Developmentally she’s in a stage that is obsessed with repetition and classification. Arranging friends by their favorite color, shortest to tallest, religious orientation, whose parents live together and whose don’t. The classification I’m down with. I’m a librarian after all. I know she’s trying to make sense of the world, and I just try to remind her about context every once in a while – that there are different frameworks or circumstances for things. I’m unclear what purpose the repetition serves except to drive me crazy. Seriously, it’s like nails on a chalkboard to me. I’m trying my best.

We marched upstairs and I began to run the bathwater and add bubbles and she started in with the “Tell me a story”. And then it just happened after one more plea, I said, “Ok do you really want to know something about me that I’ve never told you before”? And then, “Well, did you know I was divorced”? She was staring right at me for a very long quiet moment. But on the other hand, a look crept into her face — one that looked like the cat who ate the canary. I said, “Well, I was”.

I’ve often wondered how this would go down, and here it was. “It happened before I ever met daddy and before I ever knew I would have you. And I’m glad I got a divorce too, because it means I got to meet Liam and have you for my daughter”.

Emerson is always coming home and telling me things about her kindergarten teacher. The other day with a look of total admiration on her face she said, “There are so many unusual things about Mrs. Lemon”.

I wonder if she finds this news about me “unusual” and if it will make it’s way to the playground tomorrow?

I was prepared to answer any questions she had, but the topic quickly changed to –Did I know that all the plastic dinosaurs in her bathtub happened to be Jewish? (Remember: another obsession lately – religious affiliations)

But later in the afternoon, as she and I were tooling around in the car, she asked from the back seat what my husband’s name had been. When I told her, she said, “That is a funny name”, and we laughed about it.

Not taboo, not a mystery, just part of moving down the road.

Take it easy

Sunday, April 25th, 2010

As I was driving to work my Aunt Jan called to say she had just scored two free tickets to see the Eagles and did I want to go? Well . . . shit. What could I do? I would pretty much follow Aunt Jan to the ends of the Earth if she needed me to. I’m feeling worn-out lately but I don’t want to be the girl who turns down free concert tickets, even if it is the Eagles. Or maybe, especially, because it is the Eagles.

I mean it’s no secret that my hometown is Winslow, AZ — as in “Standing on a corner in Winslow, AZ”.

“Oh god. The Eagles,” says my friend Amy, “you must really never want to hear them again after growing up in a town with at least one store that plays that song on a continuous loop”.

That song would be “Take It Easy”.

Standin’ on a Corner in Winslow, Arizona.
Such a fine sight to see.
It’s a girl my lord, in a flatbed Ford,
slowing down to take a look at me

For a while, this was years ago, I was contemplating getting a horseshoe tattoo with the word Winslow written in fancy script inside the bend. I wanted the ink-work to look like tooled leather. Like a western belt that has a cowboy’s name squarely stated on his backside, like “Chad” or “Justin” or “Clayton”. I felt that strongly about my hometown’s hooks in me.

Winslow doesn’t have a lot to crow about, but we try to make the most of it. Which is why the townspeople have taken that one lyrical mention and carved out a whole cottage industry.

In downtown Winslow a “Standin’ (there is no g) on the Corner Park” was built in the early 90’s. Complete with a painted mural of a girl in a flatbed ford and a bronze statue of a man with a guitar standing on the corner.

And every September the town celebrates a Standin’ on the Corner Festival. It’s a two-day music festival culminating on Saturday night with the performance of an Eagles cover band, Hotel California.

There are food vendors, beer, music and lots and lots of dust. The town is packed.

The summer my mom passed away she had arranged for the extended family to take a cruise together in Alaska. One of the more memorable stories of the whole trip involves my Uncle Tom, his sister (my Aunt Jan), and Liam getting drunk together and troubling some poor piano player in the bar to play “Take it Easy”. When the piano player did play the song, Tom announced in a loud voice to the entire ship’s casino, “That’s us. We’re from Winslow!” Which has become a sort of mantra for us all.

Anyway, all of this should explain why this concert with Aunt Jan is not to be missed. Turns out, we have good seats and as the show gets under way Aunt Jan reaches over to give me a hug and I think, “This is the closest I will get to hugging my mom again”. Aunt Jan’s body feels familiar, similar.

When the band starts playing “Hotel California” I am transported. I am 6, maybe 7 years old, and I am cruising through the bright desert with my mother on our way to New Mexico. She is wearing Famolare sandals and big sunglasses, which she considered very chic. I have on knee-high socks with sandals. She is singing this song and we are cruising through the desert and it is just the two of us.

My Aunt Jan is a natural cheerleader. She whoops and cheers at T-ball games or ballet recitals louder than anyone. When any one of us graduates high school or scores a goal it is Aunt Jan who we will hear. She is the kind of woman who sticks four-fingers in her mouth when she whistles.

That night there were plenty of whistles from my seat-mate. The Eagles sang for three and a half hours and we had to wait until the encore to get our moment. As the band re-took the stage and began to sing “Take it Easy” it was our moment to say, “That’s us. We’re from Winslow”.

Very plus

Tuesday, April 13th, 2010

A highlight of the week — I absolutely love this book by Jeannette Montgomery Barron.

In the book she takes still photographs of some of her mother’s clothes and personal belongings, then writes a paragraph or two of memories associated with the item. I am totally going to copy this idea and record, in my own way, some of my mother’s things.

One of my favorite passages:
“In the last few months of her life, she invented new phrases and words. ‘Very plus’ obviously meant when something was really great”. I think this book is very plus.

Also, it reminded me of another book that I adore which is Love, Loss and What I Wore.

Birds of a feather

Monday, April 5th, 2010

Emerson brought this bird painting home from school, which I am totally in love with. In this scanned version you probably can’t tell, but she drew the image first in pencil, then outlined it in sharpie, then painted it with watercolors.

I love that in this picture each of the birds has a distinct personality yet they all seem to coexist on this branch together.

It reminds me that when I was pregnant, I had a recurring dream of the family comet. Liam is holding me and I am holding the baby and we are soaring through the cosmos with a rainbow comet tail beneath us. We are bound energy on our way somewhere.

And even though these birds aren’t bound they seem to enjoy being in each other’s midst, sharing a branch before resuming their respective flight paths.